


Take me higher than I’ve ever been

by Eightforyou



Category: Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Amy pond - Freeform, F/M, Marijuana, One Shot, Rory Williams - Freeform, Unintentional high, river song - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-02
Updated: 2018-02-02
Packaged: 2019-03-12 13:47:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13548594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eightforyou/pseuds/Eightforyou
Summary: *Unintentional drug use* (I either wanted to see the 12th or 11th Doctor high because it would be super funny and River is my favorite. Sorry not sorry)FLUFFThe Doctor stumbles upon a new planet when he decides to call his wife.(Honestly just a crack fix I haven’t written in forever ahhhh)Title inspired by Twenty One Pilots “Tear in my heart”





	Take me higher than I’ve ever been

Our story today begins on a Wednesday afternoon, January 31st 2018. Not the Doctor’s favorite day, but stories have told of a blue blood moon that only comes out on this particular day in time.  
Legend has it that the appearance of this particular moon causes a visual reaction to the human (and alien) eye and causes the appearance of an otherwise unknown planet. Even though afternoons were not the Doctor’s favorite time, he couldn’t resist the exploration of a new planet. Besides, he found it fascinating that could see the moon during the day.

He of course, had to drop the Ponds off in 2013. He couldn’t be sure what he would find on this new planet.

“Does this mean you’re off to snog River? What with you dropping us off and all?” The ginger crossed her arms with a smirk on her face. 

“Is that what you think I do when you two aren’t around?” He huffed, his face turning a light shade of pink.

Amy looked over at Rory and Rory shrugged and the two of them nodded in agreement. A chorus of “Yup” “Mmhmm” ‘s and “Basically, yeah” ‘s coming from the two of them. 

The Doctor opened his mouth with a response and raised an excusing finger at the two of them but nothing came out. He instead, straightened his posture, bow tie, and turned to leave. 

“Tell River we said hey, yeah?” Amy called after him, leaning against the doorframe of her home. 

“Amelia Pond, I am not going to be engaging Ms Snog! I mean Song!” He stuttered, his face now red as a tomato. He was done taking their teasing, so he shut the door of the TARDIS and began his search for this new planet. 

The Doctor spent a fair amount of time sitting cross legged on the TARDIS floor sprawling himself over maps and blowing the hair out out of his face. Not one singular mention of this planets whereabouts! You’d think at least “Ancient Undeniable Planets & Where to Find Them” (The Doctor’s go to book) would have something on this place!  
His frustration turned into pacing. He was the Doctor for heaven’s sake! This shouldn’t be a difficult task! What he needed was someone who had been there, or someone who might have been more places than he had- Which - (He added to himself) was impossible.  
His mind turned back to Amy and Rory’s teasing for a moment. NO. He was NOT calling her. She was in prison after all. But then again- a time traveling bad girl and a planet that no one else knew the location of? She would have found it in two seconds flat. NOPE. He wasn’t doing it. He was NOT calling River Song.  
He paced around some more and the TARDIS made a few whirring noises. “Oi! Stop laughing at me!” The TARDIS pulled up a photo of the curly headed space woman on the monitor and the Doctor glared at it. “If you’re so smart, you get us there!” And that was it! That was the ticket. The TARDIS whirred at the challenge but didn’t mind giving the Doctor a bumpy ride on the way there.

The Doctor felt the TARDIS jump to a halt as he re-gained his composure. He walked up to the monitor for an environment check (Yes, River would have given him an “I told you so” smirk right about now. How was he back to this River business anyways?) It read “PLANET: Cannaborium. ATMOSPHERE: Breathable to all life forms. CONDITION: Sunny” The Doctor gave the TARDIS a nod. “Well all right then.” He spun around towards the door and straightened his bow tie. “Let’s check it out then, shall we?”  
He poked his head outside of the door and quickly shut it again. “This place wreaks!” He put a handkerchief over his nose, still wanting to explore the planet , cautiously opened the door again.  
The TARDIS was correct it was a rather sunny day, he could still breathe and he assumed the planet was called Cannaborium. It was almost forest-like. There were giant plants everywhere and small bodies of water. The only water in the forest is the River- he reminded himself. There he was thinking about her again. Stupid young body with it’s stupid young crushes! He was 906 years old, much too old for these schoolboy crushes.  
His mind drifted off, exploring the rather lovely planet, these were very odd looking trees. They have them on earth but he usually only saw them much, much smaller. He walked up to examine the tree a little closer, it almost seemed to glitter at times. The smell wasn’t bothering him so much anymore, so he took the handkerchief off his nose, and licked one of the tree branches because the Doctor was curious and liked to lick things. He stuck his tongue out immediately , wiping it with his hand “Ugh! Gross! I need to stop doing that!”  
He sat on one of the trees lower branches for a minute just thinking. “Wow this place is lovely” he hummed to himself with a smile on his face. “Not very much fun on your own though, is it?” He looked back over at the River. His mood seemed much lighter now. “River” He hummed with a grin. “That’s it! I’m calling her!” The Doctor took out his cellular device that Amy and Rory had gotten for him (Admittedly he added a few things to it so he could use it anywhere and dialed Stormcage (Also admittedly he memorized the number). 

River was sitting in her cell on Wednesday January 31st in 2018. The prison Guards were abuzz about the Blue Blood Moon. The curly headed woman couldn’t help but laugh softly and rolled her eyes. She had seen that moon a hundred times and then some. “It takes such cheap thrills to get these humans excited” She thought to herself.  
On Boring days like these she re-read her diary. She would never admit how re-reading her own adventures made her giddy. When recalling her happy adventures, the emotions seemed to flow right back through her. This to River, was real time travel.  
She was interrupted from her reading by the phone ringing.  
She couldn’t wipe the smirk off her face if she tried. She loved phone calls to Stormcage, they were always for her.

“Who is it this time, Alfred?” 

The guard known as Alfred had a very confused look on his face.  
“It’s the Doctor”

“Give it to me.” River demanded reaching out for the phone.  
Alfred knew better then to not do what she asked so he handed over the bulky device with the antenna on top.  
“Hello, Sweetie.” She said in a low sultry tone. 

The Doctor giggled on the other end. It was very unusual for him unless he was discovering something new. “I thought you only call people that when you can’t remember their names?”

“Not true.” She was taking note of his odd behavior. “I also use it when I can’t remember their gender.” 

“Hullo! Gender the Doctor! I think it’s male though? I’m not sure, 906 years and 11 faces you’d think I’d get something new.” 

River smirked raising a brow at the possibilities. “Wouldn’t that be exciting?” Trying to focus, River realized he must be calling for a reason. “So what monster do you need your hired gun to take out today?” 

“No monsters today! It’s the Blue Blood Moon!” He giggled again. “A planet that only comes out once in a blue moon! Can you imagine Rivah?? It’s so beautiful! Like your bum!” He giggled. He just called her bum beautiful. 

River was starting to put the pieces together now. Comparing her ass to a planet was something she would never let him live down though “Oh, Doctor. You really are fitting in with that young face of yours.” She had been to the exact same planet in her years at the University. 

“You like my face!”

“I like you.” 

“Ha! I got you to say you like me!”

“Honestly are we 12?” 

The Doctor fell silent for a moment.”Are you doing anything today?” 

“Well currently my only plans are picking up a 12 year old and taking him back to the Ponds”

The Doctor smirked “You didn’t think I was 12 when I-“

River cut him off “I’ll be there in a mo, darling, hang tight.” 

Alfred overheard this bit. “Professor please don’t go anywhere today, the Dean’ll be real sore.” 

River shrugged “Sorry, Alfred. A girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do.” With that she pulled out the vortex manipulator, quickly typed in the calculations and was off. 

When she arrived she had placed a handkerchief over her nose, not only because the smell was completely awful, but because there was something about inhaling on this planet that could  
Instantly get you high. It had to do with the size of the plants and the fact that well, it wasn’t human Cannabis.  
“Doctor!?” She called out. It wasn’t a big planet, he had to be around here somewhere.  
So she wandered for about a half an hour before she found him sitting by the river (Ironically). She approached him with a smirk on her face and folded her arms. “Hello, Sweetie”

He got up and flung his arms around her. “Rivah! Have you seen this place? It’s beautiful!”  
“Like my bum?” She teased  
The Doctor smiled and gave it a squeeze.  
River was a little shocked but he was just so young she doesn’t expect things like this from him. “Are you ready to go home now, sweetie?”  
The Doctor shook his head. “Nevah! It’s so fun here! Look!” He pointed at the body of water where a fish was swimming. “This is my friend Jim.”  
“Jim? Jim the fish?”  
The Doctor nodded with a grin. “Yes! Jim the fish! We get along well, don’t we Jim?” The fish blew bubbles at him.  
“Oh and I expect you speak fish now too?” River asked, quirking her brow at him.  
“Of course I speak fish!” He sulked a little bit that River didn’t believe him, so he put his hand in the water and when she wasn’t expecting it, splashed it in her face. This caused her to drop her handkerchief of course.  
Ohhh boy did the doctor step in it now. River’s face was starting to turn red. “You bastard!” She huffed and splashed him back. Of course he wasn’t phased, he just giggled and after a moment had River giggling about it too. “See Rivah? I told you this place was great!”  
The comment only made River laugh harder. “Oh, sweetie. We’re just totally stoned.” 

The next day the Doctor had shown up at the Pond’s doorstep. When I say he showed up at the Pond’s doorstep, I mean he was left at the doorstep, lipstick prints all over his face, a blanket and a note that said “He might need some rest. Xoxo -River ;) “


End file.
